"The Test of Ease"

The test is easy. There are no right or wrong answers. Simply select the answer that is true for you. Enjoy.

1. You are cruising in your beautiful new car. Someone runs a red light and plows into you. You aren't hurt, but your car sure is. Do you:
a. get angry and rant and rave.
b. get resentful and chastise them.
c. make sure they are okay.
d. get their insurance data and deal with the tasks. e. not get stressed by this.

2. You are waiting in a shopping line that is crawling forward. You are in a hurry and notice that your teller is overly friendly and chatty. Do you:
a. complain to the manager.
b. reprimand her.
c. patiently and quietly wait
d. ask for help in getting what you need.
e. not get stressed by this.

3. Due to circumstances beyond your control, you missed your plane. It's the last plane of the day. Do you:
a. get hysterical, either angry or sad.
b. blame yourself for not having a backup plan.
c. travel the next day.
d. explore or create new options, not giving up.
e. not get stressed by this.

4. You have been working for weeks on a big presentation and it's the night before it's due. As you put the finishing touches on it, the computer crashes and you can't get the data you need. Do you:
a. wing the presentation.
b. swear and beat up the machine.
c. go to sleep.
d. use every resource to get it fixed.
e. not get stressed by this.

5. After driving around for a long time, you find a parking spot. As you prepare to back in, a little sports car steals your spot. Do you:
a. tell them to move, you were there first.
b. chastise yourself for not being faster or more assertive.
c. quietly move on.
d. physically chase them away.
e. not get stressed by this.

6. Your close friend or spouse tells you they are taking a friend to a restaurant you've been dying to go to, and you're not invited. Do you:
a. ask them to go with you another time.
b. feel abandoned and hurt.
c. not say anything, even though you are upset.
d. show up at the restaurant to join them.
e. not get stressed by this.

7. You promised you would deliver a report or a project to someone and now see that you will not be able to meet your commitment. Do you:
a. get angry or upset.
b. make them wrong for asking for too much.
c. become shut down.
d. talk to them and renegotiate.
e. not get stressed by this.

8. You are on your way to an important appointment and it is clear that you are going to be late. Do you:
a. get a little crazy or angry.
b. beat yourself up for not planning well.
c. give up and go home.
d. call and apologize or explain.
e. not get stressed by this.

9. Your bank card has been swallowed by the cash machine and when you try to report it, you get hung up in "voice mail heaven." Do you:
a. become enraged, taking it out on anyone.
b. contact a high level manager to discuss your upset.
c. decide never to use the cash machine again.
d. change banks.
e. not get stressed by this.

10. You are out of town on business or on a long overdue vacation. You prepare to give your credit card to the hotel clerk, only to find that you have lost your wallet and credit cards. Do you:
a. flip out, have an anxiety attack, or cry.
b. punish yourself one way or another for being careless.
c. decide it doesn't matter, you still have a checkbook.
d. get on the phone and recruit help.
e. not get stressed by this.

11. You are caught in a major traffic jam, moving along at a snail's pace. Do you:
a. yell and become enraged.
b. wonder how you let this happen.
c. pull out audio tapes or the newspaper.
d. get off this road the moment you can.
e. not get stressed by this.

12. You are speeding down the highway when you hear a siren. Looking in your rear view mirror, you realize you are caught and you left your license at home. Do you:
a. sweet talk or play dumb.
b. blame yourself for screwing up.
c. make up an elaborate story.
d. confess and surrender.
e. not get stressed by this.

13. Someone important to you is pressuring you to do something that you do not want to do. Do you:
a. just say no, honoring your own truth.
b. feel guilty and think that you should do it.
c. say yes to please them.
d. say maybe and never get back to them.
e. not get stressed by this.

14. You get to the gate at the airport for one of those convenient shuttle flights only to find out that they oversold the plane by 40% and you may not have a seat. Do you:
a. make a scene explaining why you must be on this flight.
b. wonder how you let this happen.
c. decide to take a later plane.
d. seek someone in charge.
e. not get stressed by this.

15. Someone is offering you an unsolicited opinion that makes you feel bad. Since they are an authority figure or a friend, you notice you are considering editing your response. Do you:
a. blow up and tell them off.
b. say what they want to hear because you think you should.
c. say nothing.
d. honestly tell them what you think and feel.
e. not get stressed by this.

16. You just paid a big bill to have your car fixed. You drive it away, only to realize that the problem is still there. Do you:
a. get angry, perhaps even threatening legal action.
b. reprimand yourself for picking and trusting a bad mechanic.
c. find another repair shop.
d. bring it right back, calmly requesting that it be fixed.
e. not get stressed by this.

17. You just rented a new home or office space. After moving in, you are surprised to find you did not get what you expected and there are many problems with this place. Do you:
a. initiate a lawsuit.
b. blame yourself or them for not being more thorough.
c. decide you can live with it.
d. confront the landlord, making him fix the problem immediately.
e. not get stressed by this.

18. You are tired after a long day of travel and eager to check into your hotel. Upon arrival, not only do they not have your reservation, but the hotel is full. Do you:
a. become enraged and demand a room.
b. blame them for being incompetent and never come back.
c. quietly go find yourself another hotel.
d. have them find and pay for a room at another hotel.
e. not get stressed by this.

19. You had a little too much to drink at a gathering of friends and co- workers. Your morning memory is that you publicly humiliated yourself. Do you:
a. call everyone who was there and apologize.
b. annihilate yourself for your behavior.
c. pretend it never happened.
d. quit or move to another city.
e. not get stressed by this.

20. You are on your way to an important meeting and you are so lost that you don't know which way to go. Do you:
a. cry, rant or rave.
b. blame the person who gave you the directions.
c give up and go home.
d. call and ask for help or let them know where you are.
e. not get stressed by this.

Total up the amount of a's, b's, c's, d's and e's. See which is your primary response and which is your secondary mode. Then read below to learn a little more about how you tend to deal with stressful situations.

A= Expresser
B= Blamer
C= Dismisser or Avoider
D= Fixer or Doer
E= Accepter

STYLES OF REACTING

A. The Expresser
You let your feelings be known. You say what's on your mind, often in the moment. You have a range of expressions, including sad and angry. People know where they stand with you. You are clear about your needs and expectations, and when you are dissatisfied, you voice it, often loudly. You often feel better after you blow off steam, but are you leaving others wounded? You may never have an ulcer, but do you give them? Sometimes you are very effective, but people may have a negative reaction to your response.

B. The Blamer
You tend to look for a place to point your finger when something happens that upsets you. You often blame yourself. This has developed your capacity to take responsibility for your actions, but are you also taking the blame for things that aren't your fault? You are very reliable and can be counted on during tough times; however, you tend to be quite hard on yourself and carry a burden longer than you need to.

C. Dismisser or Avoider
You are good at taking things in your stride, and you are masterful at avoiding unnecessary confrontations, but when something does matter to you or affects you, are you also willing to take a stand and speak up? You have a gift for seeking alternatives, although sometimes you really put yourself out to do this. Do you dismiss what is important as well as what's not?

D. Fixer or Doer
You are good at making things happen. Even in the most stressful situations, you can find some action to take. But beware: are you wasting time and energy on some things when another strategy may provide greater ease? You are skilled at taking action in crises. You have good ideas and options. You like moving things forward and find it difficult to wait or to just see what happens. You do not like feeling out of control.

E. Acceptor
You have a real talent for going with the flow. You are not easily ruffled; in fact, many things don't bother you at all. Are you equally aware of you personal needs and boundaries? Do you get taken care of while you are letting things roll off your back? You are a great team member and get along easily with most people. You are extremely flexible and open to new ideas. You are willing to try new things, but don't usually initiate them.

Conclusion
As you can see, there are no right or wrong answers to this test of ease. Each style of reacting has its pros and cons. The secret to doing less and having more is awareness. Come to know who you are and how you deal with life's annoyances and inconveniences. Then try some new options. Experiment. Extend yourself and your repertoire